I’m sure I scared some of you away with the title, but I want to take this time to talk about the benefits of being alone.
Being alone isn’t just for single people. It’s also for those in a relationship or some other sort of commitment. Not only does being alone develop you into a more independent person. You get to try new foods that your friends/boyfriend/girlfriend don’t want to try, but you do. You get to take that class you’ve always wanted to take. You can get a massage and relax, and you can meditate and think about your goals and your goals only. All these things plus so much more!
We live in a society where we feel like we always have to be around people. We feel bad for people eating alone. We think people who try activities by themselves are weird, and when someone randomly starts talking to us and our group of friends we think they’re creepy? Why do we feel this way without knowing the other person’s situation? Someone may have just gone through a breakup and is finding themselves. They might have just lost their best friend or a loved one and is mustering up the courage to live every second of their life because they know how precious life is. There are so many situations and at the end of the day being alone is scary to everyone. Those who take the time to be with themselves are some of the strongest people in the world. You know why? Because they’re not dependent on someone else for their own happiness! BOOM!
You might be wondering who the hell is this girl to be telling me why I should be alone? Well, I’ll tell you who I am. As a kid, I never really fit in. I didn’t have one group of friends that I always hung out with. I was called all sorts of things. It bothered me a little but I was ok, I was use to being by myself, so when I did meet people who I “clicked” with the relationships were just easy and flowed. I wasn’t worried about people being my friend because I never had very many to begin with. They either liked me or they didn’t. Having a carefree attitude towards friends and understanding that it’s not about quantity but quality made me appreciate those relationships even more. With relationships on the other hand I tend to “try” instead of just being carefree. The problem with this is that I get so consumed with the other person and their life that I forget to live my own! After my last relationship ended I forgot how to be alone. I was a friggin mess. I was anxious and so upset. I was scared and cried all the time. One day I woke up and I decided that I wasn’t going to cry anymore and I wanted to be happy. Now you might be asking how did this girl get off her butt and get happy being alone again?
This is what I did:
1.) Write everything that is bothering you down, read it aloud and rip it up.
2.) Write down all the things that make you happy. Like a cup of coffee, a certain shirt, a tv show, a movie, or a certain type of food.
3.) Write down the things you’ve always wanted to try, what you want to accomplish in your career, school, or life in general.
4.) Review the list of things that make you happy and go get that cup of coffee ALONE (sit in the cafe and enjoy it by yourself) or go shopping ALONE, or watch that movie you like ALONE(at the coffee shop possibly). These are strong baby steps and these exercises will show you that you can do things alone and actually enjoy it because it’s things that make you happy. I actually made a lot of friends through this process. The baristas, shop owners, other locals etc…It was great!
5.) Try something big by yourself. Like taking a trip or trying an activity like surfing or snowboarding, or even skydiving. Whatever’s your jam! I actually took a trip to San Diego with my cousins but did so much by myself. I went to a spa, got microdermabrasion done by myself, I went surfing by myself with an instructor that I had never met before who was just the coolest, and I took a later flight so I could just walk around and soak up San Diego.
6.) Work out and eat healthy. Release those endorphins and try to cook. When you cook by yourself you can experiment, be your own taste tester.
7.) Journal. Being able to read about all the things you’ve done alone inspires you to do even more.
8. Meditate. This should be one of the first things you do, to be honest. It’s the ultimate time where you’re alone with all of your thoughts. Good and bad. Realizing that you have certain thoughts helps you consciously determine what you want and don’t want.
I understand that being alone is scary. We pick up our phones and stop observing the beautiful world around us. We’re scared to be judged, but there’s no reason to be scared because the only opinion of you that matters is your own.