Taking control of your actions and reactions

Taking control of our actions seems difficult for many. We always come up with excuses right? You know the ones where we say: “but he/she made me so mad”, “they were disrespectful”, “I don’t have patience for so and so” etc…..Many of us have been there, where hurtful words are exchanged, and then resentment and grudges are formed. But why? Why are we not taking life easy and speaking to each other with love? Why are we getting so agitated and frustrated and letting our impatience take over? I remember the feelings I would feel. The way my body would physically shake, I would get anxiety and panic attacks from feeling negative feelings during heated arguments. I wasn’t ever someone to argue, but all of a sudden I let the situations around me get the best of me. I knew I had to make some changes. Here are some of the things that helped me “calm down” and react better when put into difficult situations:

Waking up and laying down thankful:

This seems like it would be common sense, but I didn’t realize the power of gratitude until I started waking up every morning being thankful for everything and everyone in my life. I was laying down for bed appreciating the events of the day I just had. Instead of waking up grumpy and complaining, I was excited for the day and what it had in store for me. My relationships started getting better, and I noticed I was reaching my goals quicker and easier. I appreciate everything now! I smile at the sun and appreciate the warmth I feel on my face, I appreciate every glass of water that nourishes my body and I’ve begun to appreciate each and every person I meet, no matter how difficult they may be. I appreciate them to the point where I may not agree with them, but I find their point of view interesting.

Be nonjudgmental:

This was such a breakthrough for me. I remember listening to a talk by Dr. Wayne Dyer. I remember him saying that he couldn’t be mad at people because “they were doing, what they knew to do”. It’s amazing how certain things that might be common sense to one person is completely foreign to another. Being nonjudgmental and not assuming has taught me to be more patient as well as more understanding. Through this process, I realized I was only looking from my perspective. Shifting my point of view has taught me to see the good in all. I’ve realized that those who are different from us are our greatest teachers.

Walk away:

Some may think of walking away as avoiding and not handling issues, but for me, I choose what I can emotionally tolerate. Sometimes I need to walk away for 10 minutes, regroup and then revisit the situation with a clear mindset. In other cases, I might just have to permanently walk away from people and things that don’t make me feel good.


Meditation is probably the best thing I could have ever done, being able to control my breathing and calm my mind has brought me so much peace. Stepping away from a situation and meditating for 10 minutes releases negative energy and makes you feel so much calmer. There’s something about turning on the sounds of ocean waves and deliberately imagining achieving goals, and remembering great memories. It truly has a joy of its own. Through meditation I’ve begun to train my subconscious and conscious mind, I have realized that I have complete control of my thoughts. Meditation has helped me become more positive and calm, even in the most difficult of situations.

These are just a few things that have helped me. They’ve made a huge difference in my life not just for my emotional health during difficult times but also physically 🙂

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-Roshi ❤

(Owner and Creator of The HFGL Project)

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